Summer Transitions
By: Jacqui Kluger, PhD
June is one of the most remarkable months of the year. The spring buds have become gushing fields of color and the air is warm and welcoming. As our city is finally ready to go into full summer gear, many of us, both children and adults, are staring down some of the year’s hardest transitions. School and work are often the most predictable, routine parts of our lives. In the summer months, many of these routines and habits are tossed aside as we take more time off, stay out later to enjoy the extra hours of sunlight, and travel to unfamiliar places. For children and young adults, summer also means leaving behind the safety of a familiar classroom to attend camp, an internship, a series of family vacations, or to leave home altogether for higher education or work. Any change in routine can be an unpleasant upset to an individual’s sense of balance. For those who are sensitive to these imbalances, having a plan in advance can be helpful. Children may not always know how to put words to the discomfort of feeling ungrounded by a lack of routine, predictability, or structure, so they depend on their caregivers to put the scaffolding in place.
Back in spring 2020, when so many of us were first thrown off by the new COVID-19 pandemic, it was not unheard of for some New Yorkers to go to extreme lengths to stick to their routines - to sit and read before work as if taking their regular subway journey, to walk past or even work in front of their favorite cafe despite it being temporarily shuttered, to continue dressing up in “office casual.” Putting in some extra effort to maintain our routines, our habits, and some predictability in our lives is a great takeaway from that time, especially for families with children. Whether we are consistently aware of it or not, routine, habit, and predictability can help us feel safe, at ease, emotionally regulated, and more available to take other healthy risks and explore beyond our comfort zone.
For adults heading into the summer months, this can be a good time to think through what your daily schedule already looks like and to identify the parts of your day or week that feel most predictable and routine. This could be as simple as the time you go to bed and wake up or as specific as the route you take to work and, therefore, the landmarks or people you pass on the way. Passing a particular house, tree, or dog walker every day can ground us - it can remind us where and when we are in an unconscious way. Once you’ve identified what parts of your routine you value most, see how you can keep these consistent even as work and social schedules shift. For example, if you’re heading out on a weeklong vacation, try to find a few moments each day to ground yourself in time and space - where are you, what are you doing, and what would you be doing if you were home? How is your body feeling when you would normally be eating, commuting, or running errands back home? Even when your body is away on vacation, your mind may still need the feeling of routine. Is there something you can do every day at the same time in the same place, such as having a cup of tea or strolling to a nearby park?
For families with children, managing expectations and predictability is even more important. All children, but especially those with neurodivergent (e.g., on the autism spectrum or diagnosed with ADHD) or anxious minds, feel best with the structure of a routine. As the school year is winding down and summer plans can be finalized, parents and caregivers should carve out time to reflect on the school year and describe what to expect from the summer. Many children will also want to know what it will be like to be in the next grade up at school. Asking older neighbors or friends to give a sneak peek can be a great help here.
During that end-of-year conversation, which will likely be ongoing over the last month or two of school, you can work with your child to create a summer calendar with all the important dates as well as a daily schedule. This can get as specific as what time the camp bus will pick them up or how their morning routine may be different. Many kids also benefit from role-playing any big changes. If your child will be walking to camp, make that trip once or twice before camp starts so they can become familiar and comfortable with the route and the time it takes. If they’ll be on a bus, talk about what to expect on a bus, watch a video of a bus ride, and take a trip on the city bus. If you’ll be traveling, look at photos or watch videos of where you’re going with your child so they know what to expect or role-play what it’s like to be on an airplane. Talk about what the weather will feel like and what they’ll be eating and doing each day. In general, try to help your child know what to expect as often as possible, and review what they may find fun and exciting or scary and uncomfortable for each piece of the agenda. Even when away from home, using a daily visual schedule and a consistent routine can keep anxiety levels lower. Many customizable visual schedules are available online.
With summer upon us and we prepare to veer farther from the straight line we tend to walk in the colder months, finding slivers of routine, consistency, and predictability can be our anchors even as we go out, explore, and stray from the mundane.
Resources:
Sample Visual Schedule: https://brookereagansclass.com/using-a-visual-schedule/
Arlinghaus KR, Johnston CA. The Importance of Creating Habits and Routine. Am J Lifestyle Med. 2018 Dec 29;13(2):142-144. doi: 10.1177/1559827618818044. PMID: 30800018; PMCID: PMC6378489.
Spagnola, Mary PhD; Fiese, Barbara H. PhD. Family Routines and Rituals: A Context for Development in the Lives of Young Children. Infants & Young Children 20(4):p 284-299, October 2007. | DOI: 10.1097/01.IYC.0000290352.32170.5a
