CLEANSING: SERIES OF MINDFUL SELF-CARE

by Veronica J. Brodsky, Psy.D.

" Wisdom is doing now what you are going to be happy with later on " Joyce Meyer

According to Webster Dictionary, cleansing is “the process by which one gets rid of impurities or toxins and/or gets rid of something seen as unpleasant, unwanted, or defiling (rid of a person, place, or thing)”.  

I sometimes ask my patients to engage in a free association exercise by having them list anything that comes to their mind, without judgment, of what they would like to dispose of.  What would that look like and what would that feel like if what you are disposing is no longer in your life? I specifically ask them not to think whether this is feasible or realistic, but rather just immerse and allow their fantasy to take over.   They can list as many items as they want no matter how simple or complicated their cleansing list. We then go over what it felt to list these items and what experience they had as they fantasized compiling this list. Items vary, as well as the feelings associated with each item.  Sometimes, there is excitement around getting rid of something that has been in the way for so long. Sometimes, one is overcome with tearfully strong emotions such as pain, fear, guilt and shame.  

Whether we cleanse our diet, clutter, or toxic relationships, we start to feel lighter and our mind becomes clearer and with that something amazing happens.  Many people report they experience more energy, ability to make good decisions, feel less overwhelmed and anxious, and experience an improved mood.  However, the process of cleansing does not always produce happy feelings immediately.  In fact, some cleansing can bring up strong emotions as we try to get rid of toxins.  Experiencing these emotions are part of the process as our mind is detoxifying and getting rid of what has been part of us for so long.  Understanding these emotions and processing them can provide insight and aide in a successful cleanse.  Getting rid of clutter or old clothes is perhaps less emotional than getting rid of a toxic relationship. Nonetheless, if one is attached to an item or to that “old clothing,” emotions evoked by getting rid of these items can be powerful. I love Marie Kondo’s approach of letting go of clothing items that no longer spark joy or are used. In her book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, she suggests to hold each item and only keep it if it sparks joy for you. Marie focuses on how stuff makes you feel, which is so important when we think about cleansing. If an item has special meaning, but is no longer needed then expressing gratitude first and then letting it go can be cathartic.  This ritual of expressing gratitude to that “old sweater” or “scarf” for keeping you warm and cozy for all those years before letting it go is an act of kindness.

Overall, in life we grow when we reflect and work on making changes that will allow for that growth to take place. Sometimes events, people and things have their purpose at the time when they enter our lives.  However, asking questions such as “Does this serve me now?” or “Does this add value to my life?” are incredibly important.  

Spring is a natural time to let go and allow for the birth of the new to take place. Letting go of something that does not serve us, allows us to grow, become physically and mentally healthy and gives us strength. The benefits of a healthy cleanse can last a long time, sometimes even lifelong! I encourage you to start your cleanse responsibly, one item on a list at a time and see if you feel lighter and stronger.

Reference: The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo