Teens and Social Media
By: Alexa Algios, PsyD
How much screen time should my child have? Should I allow my teenager to have access to social media? How can I limit how much time my child spends on their phone? These are common questions that most parents continue to struggle to answer. With the increased exposure to screen time, many parents are concerned about the impact this is having on their children.
For teenagers, the most common concern is the use of smartphones. There has been an increase in the percentage of teens who have access to a smartphone, with a recent survey finding that 95% of teenagers (ages 13-17) report having one. This increased access to smartphones has also increased their exposure to various social media platforms. One survey reported that the most popular social media platforms are YouTube, TikTok, Instagram, and Snapchat. There are many positive uses of these sites, such as connecting with peers, finding community, and being exposed to new ideas and information. However, there are also many harmful consequences, such as cyberbullying, low self-esteem, and exposure to inappropriate and/or harmful content. So the question is, how do we help teenagers engage with social media in a way that maximizes the benefits while minimizing harm?
Research on how parents are navigating the increased exposure to technology revealed that parents who fall into the category of “digital mentors” have the most favorable outcomes. “Digital mentors” are parents who take an active role in providing their children with guidelines for how to use technology. This includes talking to children about how to use technology responsibly, teaching children how to use certain apps and programs, and connecting with kids through the use of technology (e.g., playing video games together). Research suggests that the children of parents who adopt the “digital mentor” approach are less likely to engage in problematic behavior (e.g., conversing with a stranger online, accessing inappropriate content) compared to parents who adopt approaches that are too strict or too lenient.
When thinking about the role parents play in helping teenagers create a healthy relationship with social media, there may be a temptation to take a “limiting” approach, where parents may impose strict screen time limits, not allow access to certain apps, or limit access to technology altogether (e.g., not allowing a child to have a smartphone). While some of these strategies may be helpful in the short term, they do not focus on preparing your teenager for navigating a world that is increasingly online. However, if parents apply this “digital mentor” approach to teens' social media use, they are more likely to be successful in reducing the harmful effects of these platforms.
Here are some guidelines that parents can use to help teenagers navigate the world of social media:
Setting limits and boundaries around social media use: Teenagers are at a developmental stage where they are increasingly concerned about what their peers think of them, which makes them particularly vulnerable to certain social media features (e.g., counts of likes or views). Furthermore, brain regions associated with self-control are still not fully developed at this age, which makes it difficult for teens to limit their own social media use, even if they are motivated to do so. Therefore, it can be helpful for parents to collaborate with teens to set time limits and prohibit screen time during certain hours using screen time settings available on devices or platforms. It may also be helpful to discuss what types of social media your teen is using and potentially limit access to certain social media platforms that encourage excessive use and have limited benefits.
Model healthy social media use: As with everything else, children learn a lot of their behavior from their parents, and social media is no exception. Therefore, it is important that parents be mindful of the social media use they are modeling for their children. This may include setting your own time limits for social media platforms, not using smartphones during dinner or family time, and taking social media breaks.
Monitor your child’s social media use: Particularly for younger teens, it is important to supervise and monitor your child’s social media use. This may involve limiting certain features or access to certain content. If these types of controls are implemented, parents should clearly communicate the types of restrictions that are being implemented and the reasons for these restrictions (e.g., for their safety). Following or friending your child on social media platforms is another way to monitor their activity that does not involve needing to spy on them, which could potentially break their trust and have a negative impact on your relationship with them.
Encourage open conversations about social media: Facilitating conversations about your child’s social media use is a helpful way to both monitor their behavior on social media and educate them about ways to keep themselves safe. This can take the form of expressing curiosity about what they are using the platforms for, how the platforms work, and what content they enjoy viewing. Asking these questions without judgment and with genuine curiosity will result in teens being more open to sharing their experiences. This also increases the likelihood of them coming to you if they need your help or guidance in an uncomfortable or unsafe situation.
Educate yourself and your child about social media: It is important that parents educate themselves about how social media platforms work, including what safety features are included and what parental controls are available (see resources below for learning about some popular social media platforms and their safety features). Some issues related to safety that parents should educate their teens about include being aware of privacy settings, sharing or posting inappropriate photos, cyberbullying, and interacting with strangers. It is also important to educate teens about how to navigate various aspects of social media such as deciphering if the information they encounter is true, seeking out information from reliable sources, comparing themselves to what they see, and understanding how social media may be impacting their mental health. We want teenagers to learn healthy and safe ways of using social media platforms while also recognizing the warning signs of problematic social media use.
Resources for learning about social media platforms and their safety features:
References
American Psychological Association. (2023, May 9). How much is too much social media use: A Q&A with Mitch Prinstein, PhD. https://www.apa.org/topics/social-media-internet/social-media-literacy-teens
American Psychological Association. (2023, May 9). Keeping teens safe on social media: What parents should know to protect their kids. https://www.apa.org/topics/social-media-internet/social-media-parent-tips
Ehmke, R. (2024, May 2). Media guidelines for kids of all ages. Child Mind Institute. https://childmind.org/article/media-guidelines-for-kids-of-all-ages/
Samuel, A. (2015, November 4). Parents: Reject technology shame. The Atlantic. https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2015/11/why-parents-shouldnt-feel-technology-shame/414163/
Vogels, E. A., Gelles-Watnick, R., & Massarat, N. (2022, August 10). Teens, social media, and technology 2022. Pew Research Center. https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2022/08/10/teens-social-media-and-technology-2022/
