Using Social Stories to Support Children During the Holidays

By: Ida Piker, PsyD

For families that thrive from routines, the holiday time can feel nerve-wracking. Studies show routines benefit child development (Selman & Dilworth‐Bart, 2023). During times of the year when families deviate from routine, kids may need extra support. Social stories can help acclimate children to change.

What makes routines so important?

Routines create stability and predictability (Selman & Dilworth‐Bart, 2023). If a child is typically woken up at 6 am and is told that they must brush their teeth and hair, get dressed for school, have breakfast, and leave the house at 7:30 am, they know what each morning will look like and feel like, even six months from now. As routines become second nature, children will feel more confident carrying out each step of the routine independently, and they may direct their attention elsewhere. For example, when first learning how to drive, they pay attention to whether they are staying in their lane, how to turn the wheel correctly, and how hard to hit the gas. Later, as the driver becomes more comfortable, they no longer have to worry about managing these tasks and can drive while listening to a podcast or audiobook. This is true for children who are learning a routine. When the routine becomes second nature, the child will not have to think about each step, like how much milk to pour into their bowl of cereal or whether they should get dressed before or after brushing their hair. They may instead focus their attention elsewhere, like on the silly joke they read on the back of the milk carton.

Consistent routines have other benefits. Routines strengthen neuronal connections in children and support brain development and understanding of cause-and-effect relationships, timing, and sequencing. These skills positively impact a kid’s adjustment and behavior in school and may support a child’s ability to become accustomed to school routines and self-regulate independently.

Routines also help children feel secure and clue them into what is expected of them. When there are clear boundaries and expectations, kids feel less confusion and anxiety about the rules and expectations and what will happen if they break them. If a child is allowed to watch TV before school on Monday but is punished for watching TV before school on Thursday, it will become difficult for them to figure out what the expectations are. While consistent environments and routines reinforce positive behaviors and reduce opposition in children, shifting schedules and rules make it difficult for children to regulate their thoughts, feelings, and actions. Knowing what to expect provides a sense of security.

What if we can’t stick to a routine during the holidays?

Maintaining a consistent schedule during the holiday season can be challenging, even with the best intentions. They are unique challenges, including numerous social gatherings, heightened emotions for family members, and changes in routine. One way to prepare children for transitions and routine changes is through social stories. Social stories are individualized stories that can teach children about various social situations and how to respond to the situation. These stories are generally specific, utilize simple language, and contain pictures. Social stories can be beneficial during the holiday season because they may improve clarity and predictability, reduce anxiety, enhance social skills, and cultivate understanding of holiday traditions. Social stories can be a powerful tool for helping children navigate changes in routine. By providing a clear, structured narrative about a specific situation or skill, social stories can help children understand what to expect and how to behave. This can reduce anxiety, improve social skills, and foster a sense of security and predictability.  

Tips for creating a social story during the holiday season

• Pick a specific skill or situation (e.g., traveling in the airport)

• Use language that is developmentally appropriate for your child or children. Stick with short sentences. Be clear and concise.

• Incorporate many pictures so that the child has a visual example.

Other Social Story Ideas:

• Giving and receiving gifts: how to respond when you receive gifts, what to do if you do not like a gift, what to say when you give someone a gift, managing expectations about gifts and emotions related to these expectations

• Celebrating New Year’s Eve: people the child might meet, foods on the table, noises they may hear, greeting relatives

• Holiday break: length of holiday break, overall plan for the break, differences in routine

Tips for Reading Social Stories with Children

• Ask who, what, where, when, and why questions to check for understanding while reading the story (e.g., “Why do you have to roll your suitcase at the airport?”).

• Interact with the pictures (e.g., “This girl has a blue suitcase. What color is your suitcase?”).

• Encourage your child to express their feelings and thoughts about the story.

• Draw, journal, or color about the story so that the child may recall the story later.

• Re-read the story or mention details about the story when reminding your child about the situation (e.g., “Tomorrow we are traveling on the airplane. Let's reread the story together this afternoon.”)

• Role-playing the story builds mastery of skills.

Social stories are a creative way to prepare your child for a change in routine or a new transition.